Last week I was standing in a line at the new stadium for over 25 minutes just to get my seat mate a wine. I love the new stadium. That line was horrible. And while I was standing in it, a security guy walked over and took three people's vapes. Just took them. Three people in that line lost their vapes, and I posted about it with four crying-laughing emojis, because what else do you do.
I keep thinking about that guy, though, because he is exactly what the internet does not have. If somebody makes an account with my name and my pictures, nobody walks down the line and takes it away. It just sits there until someone notices and reports it, and that someone has to be me, or one of you. So this post is the part of the job you can help with.
What a fake usually looks like
Copycat accounts are not very creative, which is the good news. They tend to follow the same few patterns, and once you know them you will spot them fast.
- The handle is almost mine. An extra letter, an underscore, a number on the end, a backup or private tacked on. My real X and Instagram are both buffalobillsbae, nothing added.
- The account is brand new, with a few posts that are all photos taken from somewhere else. My X has been going since May 2013 and has 44.8K posts on it. That kind of history is the one thing a copy can't steal.
- It messages you first. Real me is not sliding into your DMs to tell you I have a new account.
- It wants money, fast. Gift cards, a payment app, a special link, a discount if you pay right now. That is the whole point of most of these accounts.
- It is on some other platform. My accounts are the four listed on the links page; anything on another platform isn't one of them, whatever name it uses.
If you find one
First, don't argue with it. Don't send it anything, don't click its links and don't try to get it to admit it is fake. It won't, and you are just giving it attention.
Second, take a screenshot of the profile with the handle showing. If it sent you messages, screenshot those too. Accounts get renamed and deleted all the time, and a screenshot is proof that it existed and what it said.
Third, report it on the platform it is on. Most apps have an option for impersonation when you report a profile, so pick that one instead of spam if you can. A report that says this account is pretending to be a specific real person gets looked at differently from a general complaint.
Fourth, if you want to give me a heads up, do it through one of my real accounts on the official links page. Never through the fake one, obviously, and never through an account that just tells you it is my new one.
Screenshot it, report it as impersonation, and don't give it a single dollar.
If you already paid one
It happens, and you don't need to feel stupid about it. These accounts are built to look like me on purpose, and they work on smart people every day. What matters is what you do next.
Contact your bank or whatever payment app you used as soon as possible and tell them it was a scam. The sooner you do that, the better your chances of getting something back. Report the account on the platform too, and keep your screenshots, because both of those reports go better with proof. And stop replying to it. A fake that got paid once will absolutely try again, usually with some story about a fee or a problem that needs one more payment to fix.
For the record: if someone asks you for money and says it's me, check the links page first. If the ask doesn't come from one of the accounts listed there, it is not me.
The short version
Before you follow, subscribe or pay, check the account against the links page. For the longer checklist, see the verify page. It takes about a minute, which is a lot less than 25 in a wine line.
Until someone hires a guy to walk down the internet confiscating fake accounts the way that guy confiscated those vapes, that list is the next best thing. Use it, and if you spot a fake, report it. I appreciate it more than you know.